Daytrip

Swirling rain – the train seats facing the wrong way. Wet walking from Circular Quay to Central. Down the escalator to the Illawarra line. Reading an abandoned paper and missing the Sutherland stop. Off toward Cronulla and then back again – running from the station to the car. The windows clouded with mist. Stopping to get petrol. The cashier says nothing, not even when I thank him. Raining heavily along the freeway – dropping on the Bulli Pass. Falling quickly into the usual view of the ocean. Only minutes from here. Darker and colder than this morning, when everything had seemed easier, when the extremities of time had seemed welcome. I have nothing to say in the face of all this. I still see the rain. I still hurry across the streets. I still look up at the tallest buildings, with their hanging gardens. There is only silence here. I can only hear the silence. I must avoid travelling away at the weekend – even for a single day.